I Know You Are, But What Am I?

Warning: I might possibly say something really dumb and/or offensive in this post. Please accept my apologies in advance and feel free to correct me if I've said something off base...just be nice. I'm trying to learn here.

One of the things that attracted me to the kink/fetish/Leather life was the possibility that I could truly be me and not have to apologize for it.

But I have found over time, just like most things, it's complicated.

Because humans seem to have an inherent need to label each other, as if we are Campbell's soup cans.

Among female Bootblacks, I have observed there seem to be two categories: "femme" and "butch."

When I think of a femme Bootblack, I think of corsets, tutus, glitter, make-up and high heels, dresses perhaps. They tend to be better at color mixing and more often seen at kink/fetish events.

[I have even heard the term "high femme," though I'm not sure how that is defined. I've never heard of "high butch" but I guess that's perhaps redundant. Either you are or you aren't.]

Describing a butch Bootblack, I think of heavy leather, cropped hair, no makeup, and military/engineer/motorcycle boots. They tend to be old school, trained under the dim light and smoky haze of a Leather bar.

So, as I consider myself, I wonder what category I belong in.

And even more curious is -- why do I even care?

Although I identify as female, I am not terribly much into makeup. I do wear it sometimes but more often than not I'd rather go without. As far as clothing, when I bootblack I'm happiest in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Corsets are nice but I don't like being restricted when I work. I detest anything involving glitter. I dislike "chick" movies. I keep my nails short and will polish them occasionally. I keep my hair long. I prefer male partners for sex but women have wonderful attributes as well and in fact I prefer them as play partners these days. 

I've also received training at weekend fetish events AND dark hazy Leather bars.

So maybe I'm a "low femme." Yuck, I don't like that.

A label, I need a label! 

So, if I'm at social event with butch Bootblacks on one side, and femmes on the other, which group am I supposed to hang with? Or would I be ignored by both?

Of course I will be told "just be yourself, and the people who matter won't mind"..."to thine own self be true"...etc etc. And yes, I try to follow these precepts in my mind. 

I am honored to have friends who identify as femmes and as butches. They are my friends because they have been able to look past my packaging and get to know the person inside. However, this is hard to do at a big event that might last a weekend.

I wonder if femmes naturally gravitate to other femmes, and vice versa? There's nothing wrong with that of course. It is nice to have someone to gush over about the latest OPI nail polish line.

I'm just wondering if there are other female-identified people out there, like me, sort of in the middle? And does it bother you that you don't have your own label?