Thoughts on the Amtrak Disaster, and Stories Ended Too Soon

On Tuesday night, the unthinkable happened: an Amtrak train on its way to New York rounded a curve going at over 100 miles an hour, and derailed. Over 240 injured, eight dead.

It's been difficult to focus on my work today. I've been on that train to New York many times in the past. 

And now the stories are beginning to surface: the dead, who they were in life, the good that they did for the world. It is all the more devastating because I am sure this disaster could have been prevented. 

Every human being has their own story. At work every day I look out my window, and as people pass by, I wonder what their story is. I will probably never know. And on Tuesday night, the story ended for eight people.

If there is any good that can come out of this, it is the acts of heroism displayed by not only the emergency personnel, but the neighbors, who were also among the first to rush to the scene and offer aid. These are wonderful stories to hear.

One of the things that attracted me to bootblacking was the emphasis on Leather history, on stories. Bootblacks are often called the bartenders of the Leather world, because we listen to your stories while you sit in our chairs.

In my very few years of public bootblacking, I have heard so many great stories. Confessions, even. I treasure every story I am given. Because it really is a gift, when someone opens up to you in that way.

Simplifying

Bootblacking has taught me a lot. Some practical things, some just related to personal growth.

On top of the list would be that I have a greater appreciation for the things I have. Owning good quality boots, shoes, leather...and taking care of them. Ever notice at shoe stores, the shoe care shelf is in the back corner, if they even have one? Most shoes today are synthetic and don't need much care, but plenty of leather gets sold too. They just don't want you to take care of it. A few scuffs? Throw 'em away and buy new! 

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but lately I've felt a real need to simplify my life. Not just the physical stuff around me, but my life choices, as well.

It's as if the first 50 years of my life I've been in brownian motion, snowflakes in a snow globe after it's been shaken, and the flakes are starting to settle.

This morning I skipped my gym workout yet again, because of my work schedule. And I realized my work schedule is never going to settle down enough for me to fit in the drive to and from the gym, plus the workout. Wouldn't it be better, I started thinking, to simplify my routine so I can save that $60 a month? Buy a set of weights and get my cardio through walking rather than a treadmill? 

I've also started thinking about my life goals. What do I really want to do with my life? 

I want to write, and publish, continue my freelance work, take care of my family, read a lot, be fit and healthy, and continue my bootblacking work wherever I can. 

Just like those rocket boosters that fly off the spaceship after it reaches space...anything that does not further my goals must be jettisoned from my life.

Happy Busy Stuff! And a Star Trek Reference.

Soooo...I had a bootblacking gig yesterday! 

This was a new place for me, the Rainbow Room in Atlantic City, so I wasn't sure what to expect. 

Would my stand fit? As it turned out, no, the space was too small, but that's good too -- the less stress on my back, the better.

Would I know anyone there besides the host? Yes! Some friendly faces and met new ones. 

Would I be busy? No, I wasn't -- but I'm not complaining.

Let me stop here and talk about "complaining."

Of course every Bootblack's preference is to be busy during their shift. More tips, more leather love, and the time flies. But we've all had those moments, hours, when things are slow. Or, in yesterday's case, a new event at a new venue, beautiful spring day -- there's bound to be a lower turnout.

I worked on two pairs of boots and I was thrilled to pieces to work on them.

The first pair: gorgeous, buttery soft oil tan engineer boots. A sexy guy wearing 'em, too. I spent lots of time making sure that Huberd's was worked in. :-)

The second pair: high-shine Corcorans, done whilst the customer was enjoying a cigar and a glass of Scotch. He was so happy and relaxed. Again, I spent lots of time to get the best shine I could.

Some Bootblacks might complain, "Oh, two pairs all night, what a waste of my time." 

I guess it's the glass half-full or half-empty thing. I prefer to see it half-full. I'm just grateful to get the work that I do. 

Some Bootblacks get to do what they love once a week or more. I am lucky if I get once a month. So I feel like saying to them, "Kwitcherbellyakin', it could be a lot worse."

Another good thing: I spent most of today working on leather projects I've been sitting on. I finally had some time to pre-cut paracord for boot laces. I am getting tired of laces falling apart and then having to cut new cord. So I measured and singed the ends and bundled each pair into its own baggy. Black, purple, yellow, red, blue. 

And I finished those boots I was working on all winter. Here is the before:

And here is the after:

Close up of the nasty toe box, before:

And after:

It's easily seen that I haven't fixed everything. I would say this about maxes my skills in shoe repair. I can glue stuff, I can patch, I can burnish, I know how to use dye. 

A lot of Bootblacks might look at these pictures and say, "You should have done xyz" or whatever, and I love the advice, I really do. 

But I decided long ago, I'm not Super Bootblack.

I don't expect to win, much less run for, a major title. I don't have the time, the personality, the looks, the wardrobe, the marketing savvy, all that stuff you need to win titles.

To borrow Dr. McCoy's words...I'm just a simple country Bootblack.

I do the best that I can, and try to learn new things by observing others. That, with good tools and products, plus the love in my heart, will have to be enough.

Well, I Tried. ;-)

I haven't kept up the daily writing here, but I am glad I at least made the attempt. 

Besides the current boots project I'm working on, I haven't had much to say. I don't have much bootblacking going on, until the end of April.

Here is a recent pic of the boots I'm working on. The repairs have been done (except for the toe caps, those are next) and now they are getting a good soak of Huberd's.

Sunday Thoughts

I have always had a deep spiritual side to me. One of the things I feared when I got into the kink scene was, would I lose that part of me? Even worse, would I care if I did?

It is true that I haven't gone to church in at least a year, although I see the parish priest (Episcopal) in town many more times than that.

I used to be very active in the church but over the years I grew disheartened, wondering what was the point of that hour every Sunday morning in church. The world seemed to be ever sinking into despair. So we (the family) just stopped going.

Bootblacking, however, has changed me in so many ways. I am more confident than I used to be. More lighthearted. Happier. I always have something to look forward to. It has taken hold in my heart and shows no sign of letting go.

Here are some more photos of that project I'm working on. Today I worked on repairing those Irish pennants -- er -- "flags" that I talked about in another post. Below is the before, just on the left side of the boot:

And next is the after. It's not very exciting. In fact I just noticed another flap (grrrr) on the right side there. But I think it looks a little better.

After I get all these flags glued down I will do some more burnishing and then apply some Huberd's. Will that soak in for a few days or a week.

Miscellaneous Stuff

This week I'm working on a new project. Repairing military boots with lots of little flags I need to glue down.

When I started learning bootblacking all those years ago (like, 3) these little flaps were called "Irish pennants". I am told we shouldn't use that phrase anymore because it's an insult to the Irish.

I'm half Irish and I kind of like the phrase, but maybe that's my German side laughing at the Irish side.

So now I will use the boring phrase "flags" to indicate those little hanging bits of leather that I will carefully tack down using a toothpick and superglue.

Pictures to follow when they're done.

In other news, I have lots going on in the spring -- I will be bootblacking in April, May, June, and then not til August. It is good to have events on my calendar that I can look forward to. 

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

Warning: I might possibly say something really dumb and/or offensive in this post. Please accept my apologies in advance and feel free to correct me if I've said something off base...just be nice. I'm trying to learn here.

One of the things that attracted me to the kink/fetish/Leather life was the possibility that I could truly be me and not have to apologize for it.

But I have found over time, just like most things, it's complicated.

Because humans seem to have an inherent need to label each other, as if we are Campbell's soup cans.

Among female Bootblacks, I have observed there seem to be two categories: "femme" and "butch."

When I think of a femme Bootblack, I think of corsets, tutus, glitter, make-up and high heels, dresses perhaps. They tend to be better at color mixing and more often seen at kink/fetish events.

[I have even heard the term "high femme," though I'm not sure how that is defined. I've never heard of "high butch" but I guess that's perhaps redundant. Either you are or you aren't.]

Describing a butch Bootblack, I think of heavy leather, cropped hair, no makeup, and military/engineer/motorcycle boots. They tend to be old school, trained under the dim light and smoky haze of a Leather bar.

So, as I consider myself, I wonder what category I belong in.

And even more curious is -- why do I even care?

Although I identify as female, I am not terribly much into makeup. I do wear it sometimes but more often than not I'd rather go without. As far as clothing, when I bootblack I'm happiest in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Corsets are nice but I don't like being restricted when I work. I detest anything involving glitter. I dislike "chick" movies. I keep my nails short and will polish them occasionally. I keep my hair long. I prefer male partners for sex but women have wonderful attributes as well and in fact I prefer them as play partners these days. 

I've also received training at weekend fetish events AND dark hazy Leather bars.

So maybe I'm a "low femme." Yuck, I don't like that.

A label, I need a label! 

So, if I'm at social event with butch Bootblacks on one side, and femmes on the other, which group am I supposed to hang with? Or would I be ignored by both?

Of course I will be told "just be yourself, and the people who matter won't mind"..."to thine own self be true"...etc etc. And yes, I try to follow these precepts in my mind. 

I am honored to have friends who identify as femmes and as butches. They are my friends because they have been able to look past my packaging and get to know the person inside. However, this is hard to do at a big event that might last a weekend.

I wonder if femmes naturally gravitate to other femmes, and vice versa? There's nothing wrong with that of course. It is nice to have someone to gush over about the latest OPI nail polish line.

I'm just wondering if there are other female-identified people out there, like me, sort of in the middle? And does it bother you that you don't have your own label?