Sunday Thoughts

I have always had a deep spiritual side to me. One of the things I feared when I got into the kink scene was, would I lose that part of me? Even worse, would I care if I did?

It is true that I haven't gone to church in at least a year, although I see the parish priest (Episcopal) in town many more times than that.

I used to be very active in the church but over the years I grew disheartened, wondering what was the point of that hour every Sunday morning in church. The world seemed to be ever sinking into despair. So we (the family) just stopped going.

Bootblacking, however, has changed me in so many ways. I am more confident than I used to be. More lighthearted. Happier. I always have something to look forward to. It has taken hold in my heart and shows no sign of letting go.

Here are some more photos of that project I'm working on. Today I worked on repairing those Irish pennants -- er -- "flags" that I talked about in another post. Below is the before, just on the left side of the boot:

And next is the after. It's not very exciting. In fact I just noticed another flap (grrrr) on the right side there. But I think it looks a little better.

After I get all these flags glued down I will do some more burnishing and then apply some Huberd's. Will that soak in for a few days or a week.

Miscellaneous Stuff

This week I'm working on a new project. Repairing military boots with lots of little flags I need to glue down.

When I started learning bootblacking all those years ago (like, 3) these little flaps were called "Irish pennants". I am told we shouldn't use that phrase anymore because it's an insult to the Irish.

I'm half Irish and I kind of like the phrase, but maybe that's my German side laughing at the Irish side.

So now I will use the boring phrase "flags" to indicate those little hanging bits of leather that I will carefully tack down using a toothpick and superglue.

Pictures to follow when they're done.

In other news, I have lots going on in the spring -- I will be bootblacking in April, May, June, and then not til August. It is good to have events on my calendar that I can look forward to. 

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

Warning: I might possibly say something really dumb and/or offensive in this post. Please accept my apologies in advance and feel free to correct me if I've said something off base...just be nice. I'm trying to learn here.

One of the things that attracted me to the kink/fetish/Leather life was the possibility that I could truly be me and not have to apologize for it.

But I have found over time, just like most things, it's complicated.

Because humans seem to have an inherent need to label each other, as if we are Campbell's soup cans.

Among female Bootblacks, I have observed there seem to be two categories: "femme" and "butch."

When I think of a femme Bootblack, I think of corsets, tutus, glitter, make-up and high heels, dresses perhaps. They tend to be better at color mixing and more often seen at kink/fetish events.

[I have even heard the term "high femme," though I'm not sure how that is defined. I've never heard of "high butch" but I guess that's perhaps redundant. Either you are or you aren't.]

Describing a butch Bootblack, I think of heavy leather, cropped hair, no makeup, and military/engineer/motorcycle boots. They tend to be old school, trained under the dim light and smoky haze of a Leather bar.

So, as I consider myself, I wonder what category I belong in.

And even more curious is -- why do I even care?

Although I identify as female, I am not terribly much into makeup. I do wear it sometimes but more often than not I'd rather go without. As far as clothing, when I bootblack I'm happiest in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Corsets are nice but I don't like being restricted when I work. I detest anything involving glitter. I dislike "chick" movies. I keep my nails short and will polish them occasionally. I keep my hair long. I prefer male partners for sex but women have wonderful attributes as well and in fact I prefer them as play partners these days. 

I've also received training at weekend fetish events AND dark hazy Leather bars.

So maybe I'm a "low femme." Yuck, I don't like that.

A label, I need a label! 

So, if I'm at social event with butch Bootblacks on one side, and femmes on the other, which group am I supposed to hang with? Or would I be ignored by both?

Of course I will be told "just be yourself, and the people who matter won't mind"..."to thine own self be true"...etc etc. And yes, I try to follow these precepts in my mind. 

I am honored to have friends who identify as femmes and as butches. They are my friends because they have been able to look past my packaging and get to know the person inside. However, this is hard to do at a big event that might last a weekend.

I wonder if femmes naturally gravitate to other femmes, and vice versa? There's nothing wrong with that of course. It is nice to have someone to gush over about the latest OPI nail polish line.

I'm just wondering if there are other female-identified people out there, like me, sort of in the middle? And does it bother you that you don't have your own label? 

Time for Spring Cleaning!

If you wear leather, you probably already know that road salt and leather don't mix.

And that if you have road salt on your leather, especially your boots, it needs to be removed as soon as possible. Otherwise it can dry out the leather, and if left too long, will cause permanent damage.

But we have so many things to do -- taking care of your leather seems like one more hassle when you're ready to dig the flip flops out of the closet. 

So I suggest you see your friendly Bootblack and get your gear cleaned up. Or, if you don't have a Bootblack nearby, you can do it yourself. 

My method is to 1) clean the leather with glycerin soap and water. 2.) Dry. 3.) Condition. 

Some advocate using a vinegar and water mix to get the salt off. I would only do that if the soap didn't work. But I'm no expert...use your brain and the Google if you don't want to take my word on it. 

This week I had the honor to work on some salt-stained leather for a dear friend. First, a pair of gloves that she thought might be goners:

And the after picture:

Glycerin soap and water, wipe and let dry, then condition with Huberd's. Extra on the fingertips. There are other methods, this one is mine.

Also a pair of high-shine Harley Davidson motorcycle boots. 

The before:

They don't look too bad, actually. Because they were well taken care of to start with. My client had worn them to shovel snow, and you can see some salt stains on the right boot (ie, the one closest to the paper towels). 

The happy ending:

All shiny and nice, ready to reflect that brilliant spring sun!

New Bootblacking Blog!

A big welcome addition to my "Blogs Way Cooler Than Mine" list belongs to Cherielle, Southwest Community Bootblack 2015. Look on the right hand side of the page and hers is right on top.

Tonight: I'm making a housecall to work on some salt-caked gloves and boots. Hopefully I will take some before and after pictures.

Congratulations to My Mentor, Cherielle Rice, Southwest Community Bootblack 2015

I was thrilled to get the news that my Bootblack teacher and mentor, Cherielle Rice, just won Southwest Community Bootblack 2015.

She has gone through a lot since I've known her, and although I don't know the other contestants, I think she certainly deserves the award.

This is a quote from her Facebook page that tells a little something about who she is:

Never apologize for being PROUD of who you are. Family is not always genetics. Your family are those who choose to accept, love, and support you in life. Honor them and yourself by doing your very best, learning from your mistakes, and reaching out to those in need. Be the voice for those who may not have found theirs yet...this is my Leather Code of Ethics.

Fishbowl Blues

As I scan the Facebook postings every morning, and IMsL approaches, I can't help but feel my loneliness more acutely.

I see the photos, the cute giggly comments, the Leatherwomen all in their finest, and I'd love to be closer to that, but my nose keeps bumping against this annoying fishbowl that I'm looking out of.

It's not that I'm missing out on the party so much. 

I keep hearing about "the family", and knowing that I will likely never be a part of that -- yeah, it stings.

If anyone reads this blog, I suppose it sounds like whining, but as I said in an earlier post -- my journey, my whining.

I can't go to every Leather event. For many reasons, most of them personal. I have a family and a job and must prioritize my travel to local bootblacking events. At the same time, I don't begrudge people who ARE able to travel. I think it's great, I really do.

But I am lonely. There, I said it.

I have no one to talk to, to really open up to, about what I feel about bootblacking: my joys, my frustrations, my anxieties. All I have is this blog. But even here I am not free to be really open with my thoughts. Because frankly, some of my thoughts are probably wrong or skewed and I have no way of countering them without another human being listening. 

I get to serve as a Bootblack maybe once a month if I'm lucky. I bring my kit, I set up, I wait for customers, and I serve them with every bit of passion and knowledge that I have. Afterward I thank the person running the event for inviting me, and go home. 

There is just something about belonging to a group of people who do what you do, and we can talk about it and nod our heads and say "yeah, this happened to me, and here's what I did..." And then you learn something and you have grown a bit.

Isolation is not a healthy thing. But there is not much I can do about it, except acknowledge it, do my work the best that I can, and trust that the Universe will provide in its own time.

My Achy Breaky Tooth

I am always grateful for my excellent health (knock on wood), but in the dental department, I was not in the best gene pool.

Growing up, I knew every dentist appointment would invariably mean drilling and filling. Despite being a Crest kid. Remember chewing on those funky red pills to see where you missed brushing? Ewww. 

I never took novocaine, because I thought I was Super Girl or something. Or just afraid of needles.

Then when I hit 18, I stopped having cavities and went on my merry way. Until about my mid-40s, when the fillings started falling out and molars began to wear down.

Most recently, my dentist discovered that one of my molars had cracked. A root canal was done, but it didn't work, as I was still having pain. So the tooth is coming out, and in its place will be an implant. 

The first surgery is to remove the tooth, and pack the space with cow bone so the bone can regrow and form a new base for the implant. Then in a few months I will have the implant put in, and then a few months after that, a crown will be fitted for it.

So I just took my last mega-dose of ibuprofen before my surgery tomorrow, and hopefully that will be my first step toward being pain-free. 

If You Have Never Been to a Leather Fundraiser, You Are Missing Out

Last night I had the honor to serve as one of the bootblacks at a fundraiser at a nightclub in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

I love working at fundraisers. 

The bar was crowded and full of energy. Smoking was legal here, so we have the dark plus the smoke plus the hot bodies and thumping music...it is the perfect atmosphere to bootblack.

There is also entertainment, of the burlesque/drag queen type. I never get to see the acts because I'm usually bent over a pair of boots but it's fun to listen to the hoots and hollers.

My favorite part of these events: the auctions. Usually there are two: a silent auction, where you write down a bid on a piece of paper, and then others will come by and put down their bids, etc. And then there is the live auction, and we all know what that is.

Sometimes you can get some great stuff at these auctions for bargain prices. The pool table was covered with leather boots, jackets and toys, for incredibly low prices. 

And then there are things that you don't see anywhere else. Like this neato black stool with a glow-in-the-dark bootprint:

Hand-made and painted, with a real boot used to make the print. I got this for $15.

These events really put the "fun" into fundraising. :-)